 |
The Farrelly Factors
By Jaap Hollander, Graham Dawes and René Duba
 The Farrelly Factors are 39 behaviours, strategic patterns and mental activities
that Frank Farrelly, the founder of Provocative Therapy, does, feels and thinks
when working with a client. They were defined by Jaap Hollander, Ph.D. with help of
Dr. Graham Dawes and René Duba. The factors are very different in terms of their level
of abstraction and their importance in therapy, but they have one thing in common:
they are all practical, i.e. they all describe what one can actually do (behaviourally,
emotionally and cognitively) when one wants to do provocative therapy. Although
this list is not claimed to be exhaustive, these factors together form a detailed
description of the input part of the provocative therapy process (The next steps
in our definition of provocative therapy and provocative coaching would be to develop
similar descriptions of the processing and the output happening in the context of the
provocative style).
The factors are divided in seven sections:
A. Ongoing behaviours (things the provocative therapist does all the time or most of the time)
B. Conditional Behaviours (the therapist reacts to certain client behaviours: if client does X, then therapist does Y)
C. General Provocative Tools (things the provocative therapist sometimes does)
- - -
A. Ongoing behaviours
- Make Physical Contact
Maintain both eye contact and physical contact (repeated touch, stroking, patting,
friendly gentle 'punching', et cetera). Lean towards the client. Do this most of
the time, but especially when the client seems to want to avoid eye contact because
s/he is embarrassed or in a strongly emotional state.
- Use a Joking Tone of Voice
Speak in a joking, teasing tone of voice. Actually, use three major voice tones:
- Joking
Generally, and as a starting point, speak in a teasing, joking tone of voice as
if you were saying, "we both know better than this".
- Hypnotic
When the client enters in a confused state however, change your voice tone.
Start giving positive suggestions in a low, hypnotic tone of voice (e.g.
eternal therapeutic truths of an abstract nature, like "People need to be
able to defend themselves, or the world will use them as a doormat"). Here
ideally your tempo matches the breathing – or other physical processes of the
client.
- Quasi frustrated.
When the client keeps repeating the same statements, start talking in an quasi
frustrated tone as if you were saying: "You are an impossible case for this tired
old therapist".
- Nonverbal Mirroring
Precisely mirror some of the clients nonverbal behaviours (posture,
tone/tempo, typical gestures). Frank doesn't do this consciously, but when
you observe him, you'll notice he definitely does it most of the time.
Use this nonverbal matching:
- For rapport
- To stimulate your own reflections and associations on the emotional state and the essential beliefs of the client.
- Use Anecdotes
Illustrate issues with short metaphors, quotes, proverbs and anecdotes. I
have some detective books that Frank has left at our house. As he reads them,
he underlines good strong one-liners. Collect these and use them over and over
again. Don't be afraid to repeat yourself. Because, as the famous Dutch author
Gerard Reve once said: "You accuse me of repeating myself, but then I ask you:
who else should I repeat?" Another great source of one-liners are Ashly Brilliant's
books. When Frank hears a good joke or a good anecdote or movie scene, he savours
imagining how he uses this with a client.
- Focus Intently on the Client
Focus your attention completely on the client. Ignore outside stimuli as much as
possible. This is probably something most good therapists and trainers do. One
of our master practitioners modelled a similar process studying Al Pesso. He calls it
"the envelope" Concentrate on the client. It may help to see the client as an
explosive device you are dismantling. I mean, that's the level of concentration I
am referring to.
- Don't Help the Client
Make no effort to be helpful. Don't think up any serious solutions to problems.
Don’t give any serious advice!
- Don't Keep Track of the Session
Bring up irrelevant remarks, wander of into sidetracks, forget what was
said a moment ago.
- Be Easily Distracted Be Very Dumb
React in a dissociated, distracted manner to statements the client
emphasizes or presents with emotion. You react especially strongly
to statements that seem important to you but that the client offers
in an offhand manner or in a manner that seems to say "I don't really want
to talk about this now", or "This is not really important". To statements
that the client emphasizes on the other hand, you have just the opposite
response: you repeat them in a listless, bored tone of voice, you forget
them, you ask for irrelevant details (thereby showing you don't
understand them) etcetera. Frank seems to presuppose that the client
cannot learn much from repeating what he already knows. Don't be too
smart or intelligent. The intellectual analysis of the clients problem
is only valuable - according to provocative therapy – if combined with
a strong emotional state.
- Remember that You are Provoking Appropriate Behaviours
Keep in mind, that 'provocare' is Latin for 'eliciting'. Provocative therapy
is a good example of the old NLP adagium that "the meaning of your communication
is the response you elicit".
What responses do you want to elicit?
- Assertive Behaviour
- Self Affirmative Statements
- Appropriate Self Defence
- Psycho Social Realty Testing
- Expressions of Warmth, Caring, Affection, Friendship, Love
You know that the session went right, when you elicited enough of those responses.
back to top
B. Conditional Behaviours
- Go for the Emotion
If the client shows low emotional involvement, then vary your own behaviour
until you elicit a strong nonverbal reaction. Emotional involvement is paramount
in provocative therapy. Simply try to get as strong an emotional reaction as you
can (anything short of the client getting up and leaving). Blushing, vehement
head shaking, puzzled or angry facial expression, exaggerated disdain, verbal
interruptions like "Now wait a minute here!". That kind of response. This is one
of the reasons why Frank talks about sex so much. By placing the themes the client
comes up with 'in the bedroom', you are pretty sure to get a strong emotional response.
- Red-Green Colour Blindness
If the client reacts with strong emotions and s/he asks/demands that you stop,
continue. You know you are doing good in provocative therapy if the client demands
that you stop it. That's you signal to continue along the same lines with renewed
energy.
- Describe the Clients Strong Nonverbal Reactions
If the client shows strong nonverbal reactions, describe these nonverbal
reactions to the client and/or ask the client to specify feelings and thoughts.
"You blush, you throw you body backwards in the chair, what???"
- Ask for Specification
If the client doesn't finish a sentence or gives a vague statement, then
ask for specification.
"What???" "What are you saying? I can't hear you!"
"You say you have reasons to stay married. Name three!
- Trance Work
If the client is in a confused or expectant or trancelike state, then proclaim
universal truths in a slow, solemn tone of voice. When you do all or many of
the above mentioned behaviours, the client will get confused. As Milton Erickson
would say: his/her habitual frames of reference are being depotentiated'. In plain
English: what works in a normal conversations doesn't work here. Clients will often
demonstrate many of Erickson's 'trance-indicators' like breathing changes, eye blink
slowing, internal focus, absence of movement, et cetera. In provocative therapy you
can use these moments just as a hypnotherapist would. Change your tone of voice and
start giving solemn suggestions. Say highly abstract truths like "Deep inside people
know what they feel" or whatever is appropriate for this client. Please note: in these
moment you are not provoking, you are giving direct suggestions in a non-joking manner.
- Responding seriously to traumatic experiences
When the client reports traumatic experiences, like being raped or shot
or loved ones dying, don't behave provocatively immediately. First talk
about what happened exactly, get the details of how and when and where and
how long. Then congruently give your own response to the traumatic experience,
for instance that it never should have happened. After that, you may gradually
start responding provocatively to the clients reaction to the traumatic events,
for instance to the fact that someone plans on feeling guilty for the rest of
his/her life.
- Reflect incongruence
Reflect the clients incongruence in your own behaviour. For instance when
the client says he wants to exercise more, but s/he says it without any
nonverbal expressions of being motivated, say in a tired tone of voice:
"Yes, sigh, you are so motivated", exaggerating the tired nonverbals
in your own body language.
back to top
C. General Provocative Tools
- Interrupt the Client
Interrupt the clients story (and train of thought) with unexpected,
"snappy" lines. Don't worry about the client finishing their sentences or
their line of reasoning. Don't be polite. Just interrupt, even if there seems
no way you could possibly have reached any sensible understanding of what they
are saying. Frank usually interrupts the clients after one or two sentences.
- Mimic the Client
Mimic the client in a theatrical fashion.
- Illustrate the Impact of the Clients Behaviour on Others
React very strongly, in a theatrical fashion to the behaviours of the
client. For instance, when the client has a very authoritarian, self important
air, act very insecure and impressed ('I don't hardly dare to say anything to
someone of your stature'). If the client acts very seductive, pretend to be
hardly able to keep your sexual impulses under control.
- Misinterpret the Clients Confusion or Other Communication Problems
Claim that the problem is a sign of a great asset. For instance when the client
can hardly speak from embarrassment, claim that he is quietly and serenely
planning a perfect response.
- Lamely Protest Claims of Progress
Sadly suggest, with deep sighs, that "it's soooo difficult to change".
Ineptly deny or regret ludicrously any progress the client reports.
Use whatever kind of ridiculous reasons you can come up with to claim
that the client will never change will never reach his/her goal, etcetera.
If the client reports improvements don't believe him/her/it (voice twisted
faces scepticism). It's just a temporary relapse into sanity. Soon the
problems will return with renewed vigour. Humour is essential here!
Absolutely crucial.
- Ineptly Undermine Favourable Feedback
Humorously and lamely undermine favourable feedback the client receives
from others. In almost a whining tone of voice: "Well, ..... they are just
telling you that..... maybe..... because they know you can't ...... handle
the truth.". You want them to able to counteract your denial of their progress.
"If you don't believe me, you can ask my brother...."
- Have them Repeat Strong Conclusions
When the client voices a strong statement expression, a new insight, a decision
or a major operating value, have them repeat it. Pretend you don't understand.
If possible: misunderstand.
- Broadly and extensively dramatize your fantasies
When you are talking about absurd solutions, or other absurd aspects of the
clients' situation, make a kind of theatre play out of them. Don't just mention
them, but act out the different roles as if you were an actor playing all the
different roles in a play. Go into as many details as you can think of.
back to top
D. Reacting to Problem Statements
- Do Some More of That, Think Some More of That, Feel Some More of That!
What's wrong with that? But that's the best thing to do! Encourage problematic
behaviours, thoughts and moods by describing absurd advantages (or absurd disadvantages
of changing them) or overemphasizing the clients capability to cope. When I lost 40
pounds, and we had some floods from the river Waal, Frank wrote to my wife: "Do you
realize Anneke, that Jaap, now that he lost all this weight, makes a much less effective
floatation device when the dikes break?"
- Daliesque Solutions
Give absurd, off-the-wall, Daliesque, surrealistic solutions.
It doesn't matter how absurd.
To a male client who was drowning in self-pity: "You could buy a wheelchair.
Don't spend you energy on walking! You can have a PA system attached to your
wheelchair announcing loudly, "Make way! Here comes The Sufferer Of The Year!"
On the telephone to a homeless drunk recently released from a Wisconsin prison
who was asking him for a place to stay and shelter from the bitter winter winds:
"I know how you can get a warm bed and good food within three minutes. Leave that
phone booth at that busy intersection. Walk out in the middle of traffic, Drop your
pants, pump your cock, and point at the heavens and scream over and over, as loud
as you can: "Jesus is coming and so am I!" And help will arrive within minutes."
- Absurd Explanations
Give absurd explanations. I have trouble getting in touch of my feelings.
Where are you from? I'm from Friesland.
Ah, there you have it! That province is so flat and windy, it blows the
emotions right from the Frisian people! It's genetic and cultural. My research
shows that 86 percent of Frisians don't even have emotions!
- Overemphasize the Clients Assets to The Total Exclusion of his Problem
Take an asset the client obviously has (for instance: good position in society,
physical beauty, intellectual development, et cetera). Then claim that for a
person with such an enormous asset, the problem he has presented is totally
trivial and unimportant.
"What does it matter if nobody likes you? In your
position you don't need people to like you!"
back to top
 E. Reacting to Self Concept Statements
- Your Such a Fat Fuck Anyway
Exaggerate perceived negative self-concept
Client: "I have trouble sleeping".
Frank: "You can say that again! Your eyes look like two pissholes in a snowbank"
- Exaggerate Negative Body Image
To a markedly obese female patient: "Oh my God, the Goodyear Blimp
has slipped its moorings!"
- Exaggerate Cultural Stereotypes
Use any cultural stereotypes that fit the client or the people who
are important in his narrative. "Yes, but you are a woman! A woman is
supposed to be weak, that's the only way to get guys to help and protect
her!".
Another example: "What do you do?". "I train managers". "YOU?!?!, you train
managers?". "Yes." "YOU?!?!, well, are they baby managers? Are they basket cases?".
back to top
F. Therapists/Consultant's Internal Processes
- Get into the 'Giggling' State
Get into an emotional state in which you are very sensitive to the funny,
the absurd, the incongruent, the ridiculous in what the client says and does.
Frank likens this to that state in puberty where you are giggling with friends
about just everything.
- Be Warm
Maintain warm, understanding feeling state towards the client. Feel for the
client like you would feel for a good old friend or a good family member.
Provocative therapy should be like 'Affectionate banter between close friends'.
- Listen to your Own Inner Guides
Imagine wise persons standing behind you, talking with you about this client.
Listen to what they say. This is the spiritual side of provocative therapy.
Imagine/see/hear guiding spirits telling you things about the client.
- See Internal Television Sets
Internally see a ring (like a semicircle) of large screened colored
television sets (depicting the client, his life, his work and his
relationships). Pay attention to the one with the brightest colours and/or
the loudest sound (or the one you find most interesting, like funny or
embarrassing situations with important others). At the same time you are
looking at the client from the corner of your eye, scanning and monitoring
his reactions. Occasionally walk into one of the sets. Describe what you see
and hear and feel (and smell).
Strategy: Watch and listen to client. Say words to yourself to label your
experience of the client and his situation. Use these words to find vivid
associated images. See these images behind or next to the client. Talk about
these images.
back to top
G. Strategic Patterns
- Reverse the Blame between Client and Life
Teasingly blame the client (if the client blames life, the system,
society); bombastically blame life (if the client blames him/her self).
Change this around if the client changes, always staying in the opposite
position.
To a business coach who complains that he doesn't focus on the needs of
his clients enough: pounding his fist on the arm of the chair "That's the
trouble with business these days! If only the damned customers would stay
away and wouldn't interfere, businesses could operate much more smoothly".
- Take Sides
Choose one side of a conflict. Exaggerate its advantages and justification.
Claim that the disadvantages are a fact of life that the client has to live
with. When the client starts protesting, suggest he can't change or flip to
other side of conflict.
- Demand that the Client be Interesting
Demand that the client be interesting and amusing.
- Act Crazier than the Client
When an eight year old kid is brought to him with a burping problem,
Frank will try burping more than the kid.
back to top
Copyright 1990-2000 Jaap Hollander
Reproduced with the kind permission of Jaap Hollander
|
